If I were rich I would buy this sexy mother.
Canon EOS 5D Mark II Digital SLR Camera
Why? Because anything taken from one of these beautiful babies will instantly cause your eyes to orgasm. Right now you might be assuming I’m talking about a porn shoot. Wrong. Anything shot with this just looks gorgeous, it is crisp, clean and colorful. And it makes things look like this:
These are awesome videos made with the 5D and you can too. And I will hypothetically also. I could create the kind of short films as seen above just full of pure awesome. I could take epic pictures of things in the lowest light ever. Best part is it will seem like high noon in Mexico during a shoot out. Throw on even sexier lenses on this baby and you may explode since your head will be unable to process the images. Because there is nothing better than something that is pleasing to the eye. We as humans like looking at stuff in the first place so why not see it through a candy filter. As a last thought, I may not shoot porn, I will of course take pictures of beautiful things.
Price: ~$2,500; with lenses ~$10,000
If I were rich to the point where I could use $100 bills as tissues and toilet paper, I would buy a Time Machine, or maybe even time itself.
With the mastery of time I would have limitless power, should I desire, to do nearly anything. Only mortality and paradoxes would stand in my way. Of course I should mention that time travel is almost logically impossible. If you were to think about it one could only travel into the future and never the other way around lest you step on a butterfly. But for my purposes I could mess with time as I’d wish without any consequence besides what I desire. And why would I do such a selfish thing? For the fun. But more than anything to fix the worlds problems. The first thing I would do if I traveled back in time is kill the person who created reality television. Reality television has provided very few gems for all the other waste it is putting out. Thus I would stomp out the plague before it caused the epidemic we know today. Then I’d get to the other things like saving JFK, MLKjr. and someone else that has the intial K. Then stopping all the evil so on so forth.
That however is what I would do if I could travel through time, so what if I could just control time at will, what then? For each test I had I would most likely slow time, unless it was easy and I couldn’t leave early.
More than anything it would be all about doing cool shit like this. Dodging bullets, cars or other crazy stunts. I would never drop anything ever again either because I would always be able to catch it. And it can be argued that is one of the best feelings in the world, catching something thats about to drop. It would also be a great thing to have for moments like this.
Being able to stop time to see this frozen as it is now. Everything you see could suddenly become a picture perfect moment as you want. You’d never miss a good snapshot. Whats the biggest reason for my desire to control time though? Everything looks so much cooler in slow motion. And I mean everything.
Why not round up the one cent? Consumer psychology. It looks cheaper.
If I were rich I would buy an entire neighborhood.
Well maybe not one that big necessarily. All I would need is enough houses to house all my friends, maybe not permanently but at least an extra place they could stay. Imagine waking up and walking outside to the suburb all Hollywood style and your neighbors that say hi are all your friends. The guy next to you mowing his lawn is no stranger he is your best friend, the woman on the other side is also your best friend. You never have to worry if the guy down the street is a serial killer (at least I’d hope) and you could borrow sugar from anyone. Hollywood version aside, I would own a neighborhood. This means one thing. Uninterrupted parties. No one complaining of noise, no one who is going to call the cops. Nothing. Just pure party.
Because if theres anything better than a party. Its a party, with an entire neighborhood of your friends. Using the whole block as a dance floor with a bartender at every corner. And that is why I would buy a neighborhood of houses. To house my friends. To have parties. To be an area that is completely ours. The ultimate treehouse, backyard, whatever you want to call it. Either way its your childhood meeting your adulthood and them becoming friends indefinitely. So enjoy it like I would.
If I were rich I would buy Chernobyl. Chernobyl for those of you who don’t know was a nuclear plant that had a catastrophic meltdown. The worst ever at a level 7 disaster, the meltdown of reactor 4 affected the surrounding area by contaminating it with high levels of radiation. The town Pripyat located near the plant had to be evacuated however by the time this occurred many people had been exposed to the radiation. Today the town of Pripyat and the Chernobyl plant are abandoned leaving this large exclusion zone covering 19 miles. So after this depressing introduction why would I want to buy this wasteland? The exclusion zone that looks like this:
The exclusion zone is the worlds biggest laser tag arena in the world. A whole town that is completely empty, has obstacles everywhere, atmospheric and expansive. Everything is cover and each building is a fortress. Everything can be explored and utilized. Huge battles could occur without the claustrophobic feeling. Groups would be free to split up and cover different ground. Multiple battles will go on all around and you could goto any of them to help out. Peoples imagination’s could run wild with the experience pretending to be a squad flanking the enemy. Or two friends could branch off of the group and become a sniper team camouflaging themselves. Groups could create a massive ambush as they spy on another group. So why would I buy this wasteland?
For awesome lasertag.
This wonderful thing is what some might call a ‘water wall’. If I were rich I would not buy just one, but rather 4 of these beauties. With those 4 water walls I would create a room and in this room there would be a pool. Thats right, I would create a room where the amount of water is overwhelming. Why is this you might be asking. Because if I were rich I could and then I would have an ocean room. You would walk in for a nice little swim and feel like you were already submerged within the murky depths that is always surrounding us. Also it’d just look cool.